An old friend who I haven’t seen for a while just texted that he isn’t vaccinated, and I lost my shit.
Not to him. I responded that I appreciated him telling me when I asked. And I do appreciate it. But my insides were boiling.
“Just get the vaccine, you f*cking idiot!” I yelled in my apartment.
I have so much anger inside me towards anti-vaxxers and anti-maskers. Especially towards politicians like Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis who are vaccinated but keep challenging the advice of public health experts.
It feels like molten lava flowing up from the pit of my…
When I first heard about the idea of “toxic masculinity,” I nodded my head “yes.” It was useful for describing certain harmful behaviors I’d seen in myself and other men, and in movies and other media since I could remember.
But not all men agree with me. Many react similarly to Jordan Peterson, the Canadian psychologist who in recent years has made headlines for challenging ideas like preferred gender pronouns and white privilege.
“I see a backlash against masculinity,” Peterson told the BBC in 2018. “A sense that there is something toxic [about it.]”
I don’t see it that way…
This one’s for my guys. But pretty much everybody needs to hear this.
I’m a little embarrassed that I’m writing about Frozen II (2019) again. But whatever, it’s really good. There’s psychology, there’s politics, plus cute things to laugh at. What more could you want in a Disney movie?
My girlfriend saw it after I did, and when I asked her what she liked, she mentioned a line in a scene I completely missed.
Anna, one of the main characters, is leading these massive creatures made of stone towards a river dam. (You’ll have to watch the movie to see…
Is anybody else hitting yet another pandemic wall? Another f*cking wall?!
Only half of Americans are fully vaccinated. Masks mandates are coming back. Summer is almost over, with cold weather and isolation just around the bend. Small businesses and restaurants are dreading the future. “I’m absolutely petrified about what’s coming down the pike,” a restaurant owner in my city said earlier this week.
Not to mention wildfires and historic floods and gaping economic inequality.
It feels like everything I’ve done — getting vaccinated (even if I was a little afraid to do so), doing my best to wear a mask…
I’m sitting here thinking: Why am I writing about this in public? I have to, though. Men don’t talk about this stuff enough.
Long story short, I couldn’t get it up.
A few years ago, I dated a woman I found really attractive. On our first date, we made out in a weird but cute little restaurant in my neighborhood. We were having tons of fun.
But I wasn’t honest with her. I didn’t want to have sex so fast. I liked her and wanted to go slow.
Instead of telling her how I felt, I played along. …
Four words keep coming up when I meditate recently — and when I find myself off the meditation cushion feeling sad, mad, or lonely.
I heard them years ago in an interview with the Buddhist priest Roshi Joan Halifax:
“Strong back, soft front.”
They remind me to adjust my posture. To make sure I’m not slouching. To not strain my back but to straighten it.
And, at the same time, to relax the muscles in my face, my hands, my stomach.
Within minutes — or even seconds — I slouch again. My shoulders fall forward, crunching my lower back. …
Who knew a turning point in my life would happen at a Chinese dim sum restaurant in suburban Maryland?
It was a Sunday, and I’d just gone hiking with my best friends. We were passing around potstickers and stuffed eggplant.
“You’re on Bernie Sanders’s Facebook,” a friend said to me, looking at her phone. “Jeremy’s in a video on Bernie’s Facebook!”
“Holy shit,” someone said from across the table. “Are you serious?” “Whoa!” “That’s awesome!”
I explained that I‘d had a connection in Bernie’s Senate office, and that they’d interviewed me about the immorality of private, for-profit prisons — a…
The other day I was watching the Netflix show Easy when shame screamed in my ear.
I couldn’t stop looking at Orlando Bloom’s ripped abs. How does he look like that? He’s fucking 44. I shouldn’t have eaten that donut.
I’ve gained a few pounds this summer, and like many men, they went straight to my gut. I know I’m relatively strong and healthy. But that doesn’t stop me from criticizing myself when I see six-pack abs or bulging biceps.
I suddenly wasn’t enjoying the show anymore. As social worker Brené Brown writes, shame is a “intensely painful feeling or…
If you’re like me, you feel a constant need to be doing, doing, doing. Working, improving, building, working out, consuming, investing, hustling, grinding.
The antidote to this anxiety is, go figure, not doing. Meditating, going for a walk, resting, doing yoga, journaling, making art. Doing anything that allows the mind to slow down and the body to relax.
Not vegging out watching Netflix. Not numbing out with a glass of wine. (Though, there’s nothing inherently wrong with doing either.)
Not doing is slowing the mind and relaxing the body enough to simply be with what’s actually happening in the moment…
The pandemic — despite its horror and injustice — has had a few silver linings, one of them being that it’s forced us to have more uncomfortable conversations.
About whom to allow into our homes unmasked or — now — unvaccinated. About expectations. About personal boundaries.
I met my girlfriend on a dating app in the heart of the pandemic winter. When we talked about masks and social distancing for our first date, it felt like we were talking about condoms and STDs.
My shoulders tensed and my breath shortened. …