5 Ways Porn Conditions Men to Have Worse Sex

Porn isn’t inherently bad. But it has conditioned the ways many cisgender, heterosexual men think about sex.

1. Porn depicts sex as mostly penetration

After having sex with a number of partners in my adult life, I’ve learned an obvious lesson: People with vaginas usually don’t orgasm through “normal” sex, or penetration.

2. Porn overemphasizes visual stimuli

Researchers have gone back and forth on whether cisgender men’s and women’s brains differ in their responses to sexual imagery. The latest research appears to show that there’s no difference.

3. Porn makes men think they have to be dominant

This one might as well have been the first one I listed. To this day, every time I have sex there’s a part of me that thinks it’s “unmanly,” “feminine,” “gay” to let my partner take control.

4. Online porn offers orgasms on demand

This one is about the form that today’s porn comes in — free, easily accessible, on-demand, available on those powerful computers in our pockets.

5. Porn makes it seem like sexual desires are something to hide (and be ashamed of)

This last one might be the most harmful. It’s less about mainstream porn itself and more about how we talk about porn. Or, don’t talk about it.

Download my free ebook on how meditation has made me less anxious and transformed my life.

--

--

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Jeremy Mohler

Writer, therapist, and meditation teacher. Get my writing about navigating anxiety, burnout, relationship issues, and more: jeremymohler.blog/signup